Is it just me or is everyone in a relationship? The question only came up because my good friend and I realized it all of a sudden. After talking to her, our discussion had me thinking how all of our close friends or friends in general are all dating! If it isn’t dating they are getting engaged or even married! Oy, people need to slow down a bit so I can catch up and recover from the current overload. As a result, I decided to come up with a couple tips that I follow about surviving – what I like to call – the “Single Syndrome“.
The Single Syndrome is what I like to call that undeniable feeling you get when you notice everyone is in a relationship but yourself. Which snowballs into one reacting in many different ways and possibly making impromptu decisions that can be regretted.
Tip 1: Try to not fall for the initial signs of the Single Syndrome. When you get that anxious [aka “antsy”] feeling about not having a significant other and for some reason noticing an abundance of couples; RUN. Try to remind yourself to not let that feeling overcome you because once it has a grasp on your emotions it’ll eventually take over those actions that may result in later regret. Yeah, it may be what you wanted at the moment but it may not be something you’re actually prepared for in a long-term sense. The SIngle Syndrome is notorious when you have your close friends in fresh relationships and you all hang out as a group so no one is left out. It’s the friends way of beginning the balance between their friends and the new boyfriend/girlfriend. Sadly, it can result in those friends to feel obligated to invite another person [naturally of the opposite sex] to group outings. Those dating friends merely do this because they feel guilty and feel like they are clearing up their conscience by setting you up. They may be defensive and say that they are not trying to set you up but let’s be honest, they’re lying.
Tip 2: Your friends who are freshly coupled up will slowly [or quickly] slip into the honeymoon stage. This is the time they disappear into social siberia because they just want to be with each other. That’s all fine and dandy but the single friends that used to rely on them to kill time and hang out have to find alternatives. So, if you don’t have friends outside of your close ones prepare yourself. And if you were unable to prepare just go out and meet new people or even call up someone that you got along with in the past! It’s never too late to meet people and grow your social pool or reconnect with those that have potential of a friendship.
A great way to help meet people outside of work and school classrooms is finding a hobby in a group status. Hobbies like: Workout classes [Zumba, Hot Yoga, etc]; local clubs [folfing, golf, rock climbing, etc]. Just find that niche and you could find yourself with a group of new friends before you know it. The only hurdle is having the balls to put yourself out there by yourself.
As you get older, the amount of friends hitching up tend to increase. And this shouldn’t be a pushing aide for you to feel pressured into jumping into a relationship when you know you’re not ready. Don’t jump off that bridge just because it seems like everyone else is. Listen to your heart. I’ve always had the trouble of feeling like I need to be in one just because everyone else but that shouldn’t be the case. I did that once and jumped into a relationship I knew I wasn’t ready for or even wanted. All it did was ruin the friendship I had with them and it broke hearts. From my experience learn from me. If deep down in your gut you’re not feeling like you could spend every minute with someone or it just doesn’t feel just right and you question it, don’t take that jump.